November Date Night

Continuing with the monthly date night gifts I gave Neil (here is September and October) - November date was: Take A Cooking Class.

Too bad we did NOT have our act together. First we got a dog, then I got a cold, then it was the holidays. Then our dog got a tick and its vet bill adjusted our budgeted "monthly fun" dollars. We just dropped the ball. 

Not to let it all go to waste, we decided (1) we will still take an actual cooking class in the near future. and (2) we will still have a cooking-centric date night in which we make the things that intimidate us.

Item #1 was homemade bread. Right out the gate we went wrong. We did not leave enough time between looking up the recipe and eating dinner for the bread to rise (Note: always read the entire recipe before you begin) So we had to improvise. That's when we discovered Beer Bread - no yeast required (probably because its in the beer? I'm guessing? actually, i have no idea). this stuff is so quick and easy. We used this recipe, we halved it so it only needed about 25-30 min to cook. We also used less sugar and a dark porter beer. It was kind of dense and sweet, so if you're into to that sort of thing than make it happen! like, tonight! We didn't add extras this time but two days later I made it again with 1/4 cup shaved dubliner cheddar and a teaspoon rosemary and it was even better. verdict: modified success

Item #2 was a pumpkin. It seems funny, I've carved into them for jack-o-lanterns my whole life but for cooking I've always gone to the canned version. I don't know why this would be a hurdle. We've made spaghetti squash and other winter squashes a million times, isn't a pumpkin pretty much the same? 

Turns out the answer is yes. yes it is. Just cut into chunks, bake at 350 in a pan with a bit of water for about 45 min, scoop away from the rind, and your done. Its so easy. We pulsed the cooked pumpkin with an immersion blender and added it to this soup recipe. verdict: success

Item #3 was scallops. I've watched enough Top Chef, Chopped, and Hells Kitchen to know that if you cook one of these wrong, you go home. They intimidate me. Neil took charge here. First try through we burned the butter in our pan. Second round we may have been too gun shy on the temp. They're supposed to take 3-4 min on one side and 1 min on the other side (hot enough for a buttery sear on both sides). Ours took a bit longer. However they were not dried out and still very delicious so I can't complain. verdict: success-ish

We topped it all off by uncorking the bottled of champagne that we had saved from before the surgery. The whole dinner was a celebration of making it through to the 3 month mark (and beyond). We realized that during the cooking we had background music playing (!) and I didn't need to sit and take breaks (!!) We toasted to all the great things we have in life, including all the time in the world to adequately plan an actual cooking class that does not involve youTube instructions!

firsts, again

This week I took my first yoga class since the surgery. I went slowly and took a lot of breaks. I felt the collective of the class move and breath along with me. Myself along with them. It felt fantastic to return to the mat.

I also got to go for my first run. Yesterday morning I had an appointment with my neurosurgeon. He met the running question (and every question) with a perfect answer of "yes. go. have your life back." Yesterday my puppy, my husband, and I went out for a perfect afternoon jog.

Today I'll lace up and head out for seconds. I will delight in actually feeling the slight ache in my legs and how I get out of breath a bit... and how I notice all these things because I don't feel spikes in my head! Don't worry, I will take it slow, I have no choice with Dixon since he stops to smell too many telephone poles. I'm just happy to be back on the road, for the first time, again.

leftovers: dead duck

I hope you are all feeling full and happy this monday morning!

Dixon spent his Thanksgiving abstaining from turkey and indulging in another bird.

 I want to thank my sister for the awesome doggie toy, however the leftovers of duck didn't last very long...

 

How was your holiday? What was your favorite leftover? Mine was easily my In-law's stuffing. I don't like gravy and they make a grand slam version that doesn't need any - especially when its cold the next day!

Any fun traditions? Aside from our new one of - "find the duck innards" we also have some that I've grown to hold dear. In order to see all our many parts of family, we've had to get creative... we eat a huge chinese food dinner the wednesday before with our mom's sides, and we meet my dad's side for a movie Thanksgiving night. I also adore sipping that after dinner coffee, and the mid-morning cooking while music plays.

I just read an article about the benefits of taking the time to savor your food (thinking about flavor, slowly chewing, etc). How if you truly stop to taste what you eat, you eat much less and you reportedly appreciate life more. I guess talking about Thanksgiving traditions on November 26th is my way of chewing on things a little longer. I also want to give you time away from cyber monday madness!

well and warm together

This is not how I usually say "Happy Thanksgiving"

However the year has been uniquely difficult,

so I can't help but to lift up Hemingway's words as my sigh of gratitude.

Orbin, (and all my dear reader friends) 

here's to another year of the good things in life.

every last drop

I used to dislike when people would comment on the weather because, 1. everyone does it and 2. I never cared about weather - I was stuck inside no matter what was happening beyond the windows. (in fact, rain and snow was preferable because it made everyone else recluse along with me... welcome to Grump Land friends! bring on the foul weather!)

Now I get out every day and I feel so much better every day. Now I'm one of those people saying "Did you see the sun today?!" and "I hope you had the chance to step outside for a bit this afternoon, it was delightful!" ugh. sometimes I'm dripping with a sugary sweet happiness that even I can't stand...yet I can't help myself.

I want to be outside, taking in every last drop of this weather before it turns to whipping winds and chattering teeth. I want soak up the leisurely strolls before they turn into quick trips to that one tree while I beg "Dixon, just pee already!"

I want to drag out the walks through the park with my sister and my nephew - with giggles and cheerios, and layers shed with each lap we take.

And I want to steal every possible afternoon of sitting outdoors, feeling the cool breeze and the warm sun. Thinking it's precious because it really might be the last one.

I want to maybe (fingers crossed) possibly get the green light to start jogging again, before these perfect days around reservoir slip away.

At least this year, I feel I'm drinking up every last bit of fall. Its been a gift to experience it, to join the collective of "people that talk about the weather" again. And when I start to grump and whine in the cold days of winter, I can take solace in that as well - as I'm truly working my way back to being a normal person!

my husband, the weenie

Wednesday of this week I felt not so great. I was fatigued and my head hurt and I just wanted to stay in bed.

*note: I did NOT make it to the store so we were bare bones in the dinner department

I love my husband because he made due and he created an excellent dinner out of the remains of our CSA. (an invented recipe of roasted beets and potatoes and corn and other root vegetables)

I love my husband because with out saying a word, he also left one questionable looking food item on the counter for me to discover Thursday morning...

Thanks honey!

Peace Piece

I know my narrative has been predominately about my headache pain, however, the accident had caused many other (albeit lesser) symptoms that I've had to deal with. I want to avoid harsh swearing on this blog, so I'll call these symptoms "highly inconvenient," but if I can step outside myself, they are also fascinating glimpses into how the brain works.

People would marvel at how I could pick up conversations several tables away from me while we were out at a restaurant. This is because I had no filter for background noise. All the foreground and background were at the same level. Clinking silverware, cooks saying orders, that girl with the high pitched laugh... all competing with what's right in front of me. I couldn't block anything out, like in that scene from "What Women Want", and it was all. the. time. 

It was fascinating when I could drop information about another person's conversation with ease. It was terrible because I couldn't follow what the people at my table were telling me. It was interesting that my brain was doing this. It was strange when our date night would end early because a snobby woman two tables over complained the whole meal about wanting a more upscale suite for her honeymoon in Cabo.  Oh poor Neil, just trying to give me a nice meal - he could never foresee when I would interrupt him with alligator tears saying "she just doesn't have any idea how good she has it in life! We could NEVER go to Cabo! Let's get the check." - having no idea whom "she" is because he can block out entitled background socialites like a normal person.

So when people ask me "Are your headaches gone?" that's only part of the story. The answer is "YES! sometimes. maybe forever? I don't know. but sort of YES! which is the most wonderful!"

But there are so many more elements that are coming back into my world that are so very life giving and uplifting. Like when we go for a walk on a Monday and stop into Silkys for an appetizer - just to see how I do with the noise. Then Neil will turn to me part way through and say "how are you doing with this" and I'll say "Oh." like it hadn't occurred to me to be struggling. BECAUSE I"M DOING OKAY! and that is also so very huge. And then once again I have alligator tears in public (poor Neil) and I smile and say "maybe we try staying through dinner." (and we do and I don't ask for the check early)

Piece by piece we are getting our life back. The ways seem so small but to us they are gigantic. When I go to the grocery store (my personal concussion hell), I no longer need to lay down for several hours afterwards. Do you know what that does for my sense of joy and sanity and love of the day?!? Do you have any idea how many colorful words I can remove from my descriptor of the "market district"? Its delightful. Its mundane but its huge.

Years ago I used to love jazz music. After the accident, my brain did a funny thing - it decided to hate Jazz. I could listen to the albums I already knew by heart, but anything new was off limits. This is because of the sporadic nature of jazz - the notes dip and dive, they don't go where you expect. When you listen, your brain has to switch from auto-drive to active mode just to follow along. A healthy brain does this without problems. My brain set off alarms. After even one song, the vice at my temple would tighten and my head would pulse. For years I was rudely alerted anytime I had to think (not just with Jazz, with anything).

Last week my friend Ryan sent me a wonderful email and at the end was a link to a song he thought I'd like called "Peace Piece" by Bill Evans. With hesitation I re-entered the jazz world. 

I used to love Jazz so much because it (generally) has no lyrics, it has no predicted path, and within the breadth of a song it can hold any emotion one wants. I was so sad after the accident when the only thing I could receive from jazz was pain. Now, once again, I can get peace and joy and the dichotomy of having felt heaviness when I am so light.

For years I've talked mostly about my headaches, which oversimplified the fact that my entire life had changed. Now when I tell people that sometimes my headaches are gone, even that miracle is too small an answer - there is a greater abundance. My world has a fullness beyond what I can describe. Maybe like jazz, you can't put it in words.

Poached of Energy

After long weekends, I settle into easy restful weekdays. They include catching up on my favorite podcasts, attempting to give my brain some mid-day shut eye, and listening to calming music.

I usually don't have the energy to cook a full meal for myself and so I find I'll merely reheat leftovers. As this has been my pattern for quite some time, eventually, I found I like some small ways to spice up the food we made over the weekend. Lately, that little kick has been the poached egg. 

Do you poach eggs? I used to be afraid to, but I promise its so very easy! Plus its a healthy. 

- here is a great tutorial, and here is another (but I go more with the method is the first link)

- and here is a ridiculously specific video - I'll never use a thermometer for my eggs, nevertheless this short visual is very helpful. 

I also used to limit the poached egg to a breakfast treat on top of toast. Now I'll put one over chili, rice, pizza, salad, black beans, really anything! 

Here I had a spicy tomato couscous.

It had dried out a bit and plus, I wanted a little boost of protein...

solution: the poached egg.

Is there anything you are intimidated to cook? (I'm still a bit nervous to bake my own bread) 

Is there anything you like to add to leftovers to elevate them a bit? 

Are your weeks getting darker and colder to the point that an egg can be exciting? yes? me too!