November Date Night

Continuing with the monthly date night gifts I gave Neil (here is September and October) - November date was: Take A Cooking Class.

Too bad we did NOT have our act together. First we got a dog, then I got a cold, then it was the holidays. Then our dog got a tick and its vet bill adjusted our budgeted "monthly fun" dollars. We just dropped the ball. 

Not to let it all go to waste, we decided (1) we will still take an actual cooking class in the near future. and (2) we will still have a cooking-centric date night in which we make the things that intimidate us.

Item #1 was homemade bread. Right out the gate we went wrong. We did not leave enough time between looking up the recipe and eating dinner for the bread to rise (Note: always read the entire recipe before you begin) So we had to improvise. That's when we discovered Beer Bread - no yeast required (probably because its in the beer? I'm guessing? actually, i have no idea). this stuff is so quick and easy. We used this recipe, we halved it so it only needed about 25-30 min to cook. We also used less sugar and a dark porter beer. It was kind of dense and sweet, so if you're into to that sort of thing than make it happen! like, tonight! We didn't add extras this time but two days later I made it again with 1/4 cup shaved dubliner cheddar and a teaspoon rosemary and it was even better. verdict: modified success

Item #2 was a pumpkin. It seems funny, I've carved into them for jack-o-lanterns my whole life but for cooking I've always gone to the canned version. I don't know why this would be a hurdle. We've made spaghetti squash and other winter squashes a million times, isn't a pumpkin pretty much the same? 

Turns out the answer is yes. yes it is. Just cut into chunks, bake at 350 in a pan with a bit of water for about 45 min, scoop away from the rind, and your done. Its so easy. We pulsed the cooked pumpkin with an immersion blender and added it to this soup recipe. verdict: success

Item #3 was scallops. I've watched enough Top Chef, Chopped, and Hells Kitchen to know that if you cook one of these wrong, you go home. They intimidate me. Neil took charge here. First try through we burned the butter in our pan. Second round we may have been too gun shy on the temp. They're supposed to take 3-4 min on one side and 1 min on the other side (hot enough for a buttery sear on both sides). Ours took a bit longer. However they were not dried out and still very delicious so I can't complain. verdict: success-ish

We topped it all off by uncorking the bottled of champagne that we had saved from before the surgery. The whole dinner was a celebration of making it through to the 3 month mark (and beyond). We realized that during the cooking we had background music playing (!) and I didn't need to sit and take breaks (!!) We toasted to all the great things we have in life, including all the time in the world to adequately plan an actual cooking class that does not involve youTube instructions!

my husband, the weenie

Wednesday of this week I felt not so great. I was fatigued and my head hurt and I just wanted to stay in bed.

*note: I did NOT make it to the store so we were bare bones in the dinner department

I love my husband because he made due and he created an excellent dinner out of the remains of our CSA. (an invented recipe of roasted beets and potatoes and corn and other root vegetables)

I love my husband because with out saying a word, he also left one questionable looking food item on the counter for me to discover Thursday morning...

Thanks honey!

a series of escalating dares

For years now Neil and I have wanted a dog. We have longed for a dog. We knew we couldn't get a dog because our lease said so and I wasn't feeling well enough... but that didn't stop our unhealthy dog wanting behaviors. We would dog sit and pretend it was our everyday life. We would stare longingly at dog walking couples. We even picked out future names.

In the last few weeks, I've started feeling better and better - leaving our status as "renters" as the only barrier between us and the thing we've wanted oh so much. This has put us into a fever pitch where instead of talking each other down to reality, we just enabled increasingly crazy thoughts.

With a nod to the "arrested development" joke, here are a few of the series of escalating dares that we've encountered these last few weeks...

-Unhealthy Dog Wanting Behavior #1: The Lost Dogs

source

My friend Carrie lent me this fantastic book telling the story of the dogs from the Michael Vick fighting rings. This book is excellent (both heart breaking and extremely inspiring), it shows the rehabilitation of a very misunderstood breed of dogs. Some of these Vick Pit Bulls were even able to serve as therapy dogs in hospitals within a year of rescue! After this my desire to rescue was at a code yellow level.

- Unhealthy Dog Wanting Behavior #2: Pit Bulls and Parolees 

source

Shortly after finishing the book, I found this show on Animal Planet. Its about a kennel that rescues Pit Bulls and staffs with people on Parole... giving everyone a second chance. For the record I have yet to make it through an episode without crying.

-Unhealthy Dog Wanting Behavior #3: Re-Watching Videos Like This
again and again and again

(video of Soldier returning from war)

- Unhealthy Dog Wanting Behavior #4: "Lover's Not Fighters Gala"
I approached Neil with the desire to attend this February fundraiser by saying "If we can't have a dog right now, at least we can support these organizations, right?" That's not an unhealthy idea, but I was foolish to think surrounding myself with dog-friendly people would scratch the itch. nuh uh. still want a pup. big time.

- Unhealthy Dog Wanting Behavior #5: Petfinder.com
Oh I'll just look at the weepy, curious, kind eyes of about one hundred dogs that need homes and I'll be able to walk away, no problem. I know, I know how dangerous this is, trust me I didn't seek out this behavior. I accidentally hopped into the website after I was looking into that fundraiser gala. Then I was diving down the rabbit hole and there was no way out... except maybe Neil's voice of reason. Only instead of saying "No. Bad. Close that link!" he said "I have an idea: Spend tomorrow searching through them all and then pick your top 3 favorite to show me when I get home from work." (is this the definition of enabler?)

- Unhealthy Dog Wanting Behavior #6: Just An Innocent Shelter Visit
After all this, we were at red alert levels in our dog longing. We talked at length at how wonderful it would be to have a dog with me on my walks, to have company with me during my days, to be at a place where we were moving forward - at last! Then we stupidly said "Why don't we just walk to the local shelter and look. Just look." hahahahaha. I think you all know what happens after that...

**fast forward through me crying 3 times before we walk down the first isle of the cages. fast forward through our time peering through bars with fingers licked and tail wagging, fast forward through us whispering "yeah, I agree, I don't want to see any others but that one.", fast forward through us nervously calling our (amazing) land lord... fast forward fast forward... and...

ITS A BOY!!!

meet Dixon

(full name "Jamie Dixon - 2010 National Coach of the Year")

he is our 10 month old, 55 lb, new family member. 

he's part terrier, part pit bull, part lab, part retriever, part Orbin

so far I know he loves sleeping curled around Neil's shoe and he hates squirrels

 and so far I've never had a better morning coffee routine!

October Date Night

I've mentioned before that I have planned for Neil one date night a month, written out on cards. The initial card for October said "Dinner on the Porch" because when I envisioned how I might feel in October, that sounded like an adventurous night of 'getting out'.

Fast forward two months and we were delighted to read the idea, to be in a place that's much improved from what I imagined, and to say - "You know, maybe we can elevate this a bit!"

In September, Neil went to a family wedding that I couldn't attend which saddened me because I love going to weddings. Inspired by the idea to give me the best of what I love about a wedding, Neil came up with an idea to give me some of what I missed in September (although I could never replace seeing all my family). He went ALL out, it was one of the best weddings I've attended... it was hands down the best phony union I ever saw!

I began by getting dressed very fancy. Following strict orders, I was picked up at our room at 7:00 on the dot. You can't be late for these things, its very rude.

 Our appetizers were only the good cheeses with fancy, spicy mustard. 

Oh look, an open bar (how generous of the Bride and Groom!)

I'll have a coke!

The cocktail hour was on the veranda. 

It went longer than expected, but that happens all the time at weddings (I'm sure the happy couple was taking extra pictures). We just mingled and enjoyed the music, and I ate a brick of cheeses.

Next we were escorted to our seats. 

Typical wedding - the table setting had about one million glasses!

 Neil and I both checked "fish" so we ended up with the tilapia.

I have to say, it was some spectacular wedding food!

I was even allowed to go for seconds of rice with spoonfuls directly from the pan.

(seriously, someone should make-out with this caterer)

Champagne toast! 

I even allowed myself a small glass

(don't worry it's been okayed)

"... and to the bride's family, who made this night happen. You all look fabulous by the way"

 I can't begin to describe the decadence of the reception hall. 

The pictures really don't do it justice! 

They hired a great DJ - their music selection showed highly evolved taste.

We danced and rested and danced some more.

Of course the best part of the night was my handsome date.

After all of this I must confess, I fear a monster has been created. Do I need to say it another time - I LOVE weddings. So as I type this, eating the left over fancy gouda and listening to the "reception" playlist, I have to come clean and tell you that I'm addicted.

I want more fake home weddings (and I want them soon now)!

Please don't be alarmed if you receive an invite in the mail to a fictitious nuptial at our house... maybe it'll be an e-vite (we're not made of money or cardstock). If you find yourself faced with this request - say yes - I promise you don't need to purchase a crockpot or catch a garter.

And pick the fish option, its fantastic.

September Date Night

We opened our two year anniversary gifts early this year. (I was otherwise detained on the actual day) As always, we went for simple in terms of cost - which means I went overboard in terms of effort.

Of the 12 gifts I got him (this looks like overkill but most were oh so insignificant)...

One particular mason jar was my favorite. It had a special gift that was to last all year long.

It held 12 envelops, with each month of the year on the outside. On the inside of each envelop is a specific date night for us. On the first day of each month this year he gets to open a new envelop and we go forth with our date!

Making this gift was tricky because I had to predict how I might feel in February and July. I had to hope I could be in public at a certain point, and expect I could handle large amounts of fun around, well, who knows when?

Making this gift was a blessing because I could say to Neil just before having surgery, not only do I have no doubt I'll live through this (otherwise, crappy gift right?) but I'll also choose to believe I get better and better and we'll have a wonderful year together.

SEPTEMBER 

For our kick off month I did have to set the bar rather low. I knew we would be inside not just one weekend but ALL the weekends (and ALL the weeknights). I wanted to do something not too straining but somewhat unique...

Thus - Movie Nights - we stay in, we make popcorn, we snuggle under covers, and we turn off phones. But these aren't typical movies. Our theme is to go through all of our parents' and step-parents' favorite films. We are still collecting some data, and gathering DVDs, but so far its been a blast! Can you believe we never asked them what they love most?

And so now we have a way to separate special nights from just every other night. We also have a new (and renewed) appreciation for:

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

thanks to John

Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark

thanks to Dave

(on deck is)

Moonstruck

thanks to Donna

The Shawshank Redemption

thanks to Paul

(which happens to mine AND Neil's favorite as well. triple whammy!)

and guess who picked

Analyze This...

*if you said Joe T, you win!

So far we've lucked out - everyone has impeccable taste, in our opinion - and our September date nights have been delightful! We can't wait to get everyone's final vote and then we might even cycle through some of the second place movies we were given (Ten Commandments, Seabiscuit, Young Frankenstein, The Dream Team, Back to School and Gone With the Wind)

Do you have a favorite movie we could watch? Have you asked any parents or family members what they love the most? I can't believe I waited so long to ask - now that I watch them knowing how beloved they are, they're even better than I remember!

What's been going on in my head...

I haven't been posting much these days and its probably as good a time as any to say why. (its also a long one, so refresh that cup of coffee first then sit down for the story)

The clinical trial that I took part in a number of months ago called me in May to go over the results. Entirely unrelated to the study, they found some issues with the gross anatomy of my brain. Reviewing my prior MRIs, it was there as well. So in this fortunate series of events, the doctor discovered something called Arnold Chiari Malformation, Type 1.

This is Arnold Chiari Malformation, as basic as I can describe it: my brain was jostled into the wrong place, so that the bottom part of it (the cerebellum) is pressing through the hole that exits my skull (the foramen magnum). This acts like a tub stopper, causing a build up of cerebrospinal fluid and blood. That build up puts pressure on the brain and alerts the Arnold Chiari patient of the number 1 symptom: a severe headache.

this is from the chiari institute.

you'll have to believe me, that its way more satisfying to see one's own brain scan and not a diagram

(then an invisible pain is made tangible and its finally something)

I still have a concussion (as evidenced by the clinical study). I have concussion symptoms not explained by Arnold Chirai. But I also have Arnold Chirai symptoms not explained by concussions. Then I have a handful of symptoms where the two overlap. Picture, if you will, a venn diagram with things like "constant headache, noise sensitivity, sleep disturbance, difficulty concentrating" in the center. After they treat the Chiari, they have stressed that there is no nice, neat percentage of a chance they can put on these overlapping symptoms going away. They have no way of knowing what my concussion is like, underlying the Chiari. I have two extremely rare circumstances put together, which makes a prognosis near impossible. (Keep in mind we're coming off of 4 really really tough years, so 'no guaranteed result' is still music to our ears)

But we have to treat the Chiari. I've had fluid flow scans to show that there is blockage. I have significant Chirai specific symptoms. Without treatment, it will remain, forever (and possibly get worse). I have two brain conditions now and the good news is that one can be handled.

On a more positive note, this news is also the first hope I've had that things could change for me. Neil and I had braced ourselves for a future where I wake up every single day with this almost unbearable pain. I felt like I was in a long, dark tunnel. Hearing this, it seemed like I could take a short cut into the light. The idea that I could begin to feel even remotely better is such a gift. That I could have room to breathe... even a inch... changes our whole future

For the few of you who don't already know, Arnold Chiari treatment involves a "decompression", which is a misnomer that means brain surgery, but sounds like putting your feet up after a long day at work. They remove my top few vertebrae to gain access to the descended cerebellum (called tonsils), they shave open my foramen magnum wider so fluid can flow again, and they go up to lift the dura (layer surrounding my brain) to secure my brain in its proper place. For the medically fascinated, you can watch versions of it on youtube. I think its all amazing. (For the weaker stomaches that don't want a visual but want to know some more, here is a good link about what I have comin)

My hospital stay will be 3-5 days, then a pretty brutal 3 month recovery. But here's the good news friends, I have an A+ in recovery! If I were to put anything on a job resume after all these years it would be "enduring massive amounts of pain" (and I would sub-bullet point that with "getting stitches without Novocain" and "repeatedly lifting my body weight into a truck on a broken shoulder" and "having a constant headache for over 1,550 days" ) ... which makes me the perfect candidate for this particular venture.

My surgery is scheduled for August 22. For anyone out there keeping track, that's the date of our 2 year wedding anniversary. Soooo, there's that. People keep asking us how we are doing and I think having the surgery on our anniversary seems to sum it up well. Sure we slyly joke about staying in an 'all inclusive' when people innocently ask "what are your anniversary plans?" but honestly, its really the pits and not normal to spend that day with a gauze wrapped head and a foley catheter. Sure we know there will never be a day in our future when life will be perfect - there will always be some problem or another - and we know some people truly have it worse... however, if I'm being so very honest, there are rare times we can't help but look at the lives of our peers and we can't help but compare. In those times that old sports chant comes to mind... "nuts and bolt, nuts and bolts, we. got. screwed."

But we're not special, every single one of you have probably uttered the phase 'life isn't fair'... I'm allowing that my husband gets to say it too, as he spends the afternoon of our anniversary holding his breath and hoping the statistics are in my favor, instead of making dinner reservations.

We go through everything together. I know there's people out there that have husbands that travel or even more difficult, husbands that are in the military. But all I know is our pattern and our pattern is that I struggle every day and he is by my side every day. Which makes this so terribly hard. Because he will sit in a waiting room and I will wheel off to an OR. And that's right about the time when I want to hold his hand (on our anniversary).

But we're also not special in that we're not alone in joy. Every single one of you has probably said 'I can't believe how lucky I am.' ...when I wake up and see him I'll feel that sentiment in waves. And then, so his fear can melt away and he'll know the wife he loves is with him again, I'll say something cheesy like "you make me the happiest lady in the whole entire neuro-surgical recovery unit"

But how are we really? I think best answer is that we are resilient. And we do have hope with our fear. And we are okay. And we feel that we can look back on this day as another type of milestone - "The day when our lives started over, yet again." Once the pain passes (which I have to believe it will), we can have a fondness for it all. And we'll thank God for a sense of humor. So this day being such a big day for us is like this whole thing - it has ups and downs and its all kind of overwhelming.

Many of you have been so generous and kind and amazing and asked us what you can do for us. Right now the answer is simple "we don't know." This is uncharted territory. Right now we are saying a firm no to food and no to anything else. But that could change - Neil does love Cliff Bars, he might get a craving - or I might be able to keep some food in my belly at some point and then we might celebrate by accepting groceries. (you see, they expose the equilibrium and vomit center of my brain to air during the surgery, which must be like spraying a cat with a squirt gun, apparently it gets super angry)

Part of us wants to do what we did for the first months that we knew about all this and stay in a cocoon - only emerging on a day when we can say with joy and NORMALCY, "oh, me? lately? I'm just hanging out. My co-workers are lame. Work is boring. Life is great. Yada Yada. how about you?"

But we have reluctantly grown to accept that is not where we are right now. We are uprooted. We have such big emotions all the time - big hope, big fear, big excitement, big nervousness, big joy, big uncertainty. Just venturing out on a limb to share this isn't easy. Its hard at a time when we feel buoyant with hope to greet someone's sadness. And its near impossible when we feel overwhelmed by what we're facing to hear encouragement or to hear - well, anything. That leaves all you lovely readers and caring hearts in quite the predicament of how to interact with us, doesn't it?

But we ultimately decided its better to be exposed. To risk the highs and lows with everyone. Because since we started telling people, we started getting cards in the mail (and texts and phone calls). Simple, sweet, messages. Mostly they say "thinking of you." and mostly they come when I feel like I'm pulled so tight I'll break. Its made our vulnerability worth the outpouring of support.

Although We're always struggling with the idea of how much to share and how much to keep private, we came to the decision to use this blog as the place to be open. My limited readership is mostly family, close friends, and 4 people in Russia. Since my humble blog isn't an internet sensation, we thought this would be the best place to inform you on what's going on.

So you don't need to call and ask and so Neil doesn't need to spend the bulk of his time updating individually - Neil will be taking over my blog. He will post on this site on the day of surgery and in the long months following. You can check in for updates on me without feeling like you're 'bugging' us and I promise he won't go into detail when I spend the whole day puking. (He's also concise - which means you get a break from my run on sentences.)

Dear loved ones (if you've read all the way to the end you are very dear and most likely a loved one),
I want to thank you now, because our most fervent prayers 'to feel lifted up in love, care, kindness, and support' have already been answered so fully we can hardly believe it. As a bonus, of course, it would also be really super great to make it through surgery okay and then not have these headaches anymore either. Thank you, thank you, I really do adore you all, four years and then some is a long time to pray and care so much, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

HAPPY WEEKEND! hope its full of "i do"

photo by Laura Phillips

Is it me or is the wedding season in full swing? (our next two weekends are packed with wedded bliss)

I love attending weddings so much! I think they are that secret perk of being married that no one told me about... "you mean I get to dress up, have a fancy date with my husband, see people I care about, dance, eat cheese squares with spicy mustard, AND not even have to check the weather!?! Actually, I don't have to plan one single detail. Just sign the card!!" um, yes please - at least one a month.

Some people attend weddings and think - "oh, if only I could do mine over again" - where as, I'm thinking, "this attending weddings thing is tops... nice touch with the chair covers, by the way. I didn't spring for it, but it looks great. Now where is the cheese?"

I never used to cry at weddings. Now I squeeze Neil's hand the whole ceremony and sputter like a baby. every. stinking. time. I know they're going to say "in sickness and in health" and yet it bowls me over. So I predictably turn to my darling husband and ask "Is my eye makeup smeared?" and predictably he says "no honey, you look great." while opting not to mention the snot on my face. I love not being the bride- because that whole interaction doesn't take place in front of everyone I know.

weepy mess

 captured by hot metal studios

If you haven't crossed over to the other side of already married, blissful wedding hopping, maybe some of this will help:

Two lovely wedding sites with a million resources are 100 layer cake and once wed. Makes planning a wedding (somewhat) more simple.

And I can't say enough about our choice in registry. We went with alternative gift registry. Its a site that allows you to enter in all your own choices from anywhere. You can simply say "crockpot" or you can add a link to the specific Target crockpot you love. And there's space to type so you can tell the people "we want this crockpot because every sunday we make pulled pork for the whole family." (then people can feel invested). There is freedom to link up to a million sites and there's freedom to have guests shop around for where they can get a good deal. I ADORED the gifts we got because we could be practical by saying "we need wooden salad bowls" and still get unique items, like the wooden bowl from kenya (you can't scan gun that baby at Macy's!)  We were able to request framed photos from my cousin Kevin's website, which decorated our home beautifully and supported an artist we love. We even added a bunch of 'mix CDs' to our registry and people added them in with their cards. We listened to them on our drive to our honeymoon!
I could go on and on - but seriously, alternative gift registry. the best.

From the greatest thing to the worst thing: the guest list...ughhh the guest list. Never in our lives have we been forced to classify people we love and then cut them out. Friends vs. Family - who wins? and Person he likes a lot vs. Person we both know? and  Long time buddies vs. New friends? Making the list is the worst. period. I once heard the suggestion "Don't invite someone that you wouldn't/haven't had to dinner at your place." Either we know a lot of awesome people or we have a low bar for social eating; that advice helped very little...

photo by Hot Metal Studio

My guest list advice is that you will never please everyone and you will never get it right, so stress as little as possible. Be honest with those you had to cut (the very frank 'hey we're really in a bind but we want you know we care about you. can we get together soon." goes over much better than radio silence and no invite). And try focus on the top few names you wrote down (siblings, roommates, wedding party) - those are the very important people that WILL be there - this helps to distract from the game of musical chairs you have to play with the other spots of distant cousin vs. co-worker buddy. Truth is, within one calender year you'll drift away from several guests and you'll cement other relationships that will make you say "I can't believe we didn't have so-and-so there!" It is inevitable.

So much of what is acceptable in terms of wedding etiquette is changing. Can you put a website on your invitation? Is it okay to have the grooms side pay for some of the wedding? And speaking of registries - is is okay to register for parts of your honeymoon? What do you think? We had a debate about electronic RSVP over snail mail response cards. The times, they are in limbo.

How do you buy gifts for someone for their wedding - do you buy on registry (Is that practical? Is that boring?) or do you go rogue (and risk getting them that thing they hate)? or something in between (for example a few cooking items on registry plus your favorite cookbook)? One of my favorite off-registry gifts was the Wedding Gift Crate from Penzeys Spices. My Step-dad knew how much we loved cooking and made the leap, since then we've purchased the gift for several others.

check out all that you get!

Nothing makes or breaks a wedding like the music. While I'm always a fan of hearing the good ol' fashioned "Shout" at a reception - my secret favorite is a little Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On."  Do you have a favorite song? I always love knowing what people played at their wedding. In my humble opinion, no wedding is complete without the contemporary classic "Let Get Married (remix)" by Jagged Edge.

and if you're in need, my cousin and I know all the words. We'd be happy to show up at your reception to rock out the rap parts at the amazement of your guests...

So after the reception is the grand farewell right? Thats what they show in all the movies (here, here, here, etc). I have yet to go to a wedding where the bride changes her outfit and runs out between a line of guests like its High School football. Then hops into a chauffeured car and gracefully waves while everyone holds sparklers. Has anyone experience this? Please tell me. Until then, I put it in the same file along with getting your shoe stuck in a sewer grate at the same time a handsome man is walking by to save you - "amazing crap that's only in rom-coms" but hey, I'm willing to be proven wrong.

Our grand farewell: at the end of the reception, several giant platters of hoagies came out. (and she lived happily ever after)

Any advice or input you want to add to those who are planning to say I DO? or are you like me, on the other side, just enjoying the fact that the only thing you need to worry about is "If I start with champagne, is okay to move to gin and tonic?" and "How do I best hide from the cameraman while I dance like a fool?" oh the good life! mazel tov!!

Marriage Advice

This weekend I'm fortunate enough to officiate a wedding for a truly wonderful couple.

While I put the final touches on sermons and vows, I'm thinking about great marriage advice.

This article by Lydia Netzer is so sweet and honest. I love all her tips, especially, "make a husband pact with your friends" - I think the way you talk to your spouse and about your spouse is so very important.

source

I also think there is something so wonderful about realistic love... not the grand sweeping things we see in romantic movies. So I'm posting my favorite clip from my favorite romantic movie. (Actually its my second favorite clip. I couldn't find the "She's heard me say I love you a million times but she's never heard me say I'm sorry" scene from Die Hard, so this will have to do)

And I love the song "Born" by Over the Rhine (a husband and wife duo). When Karen and Linford were going through a rough patch in their marriage they decided to buy a case of wine and sit down with a bottle every night until it was gone. They would use that time to talk and to listen - to let things unfold.

I'm not sure that 'drink a case of wine' is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of standard marriage advice but I love that story because the two of them stayed together and this gorgeous song came out of it...

Other fun marriage advice I've heard includes "laugh a lot" and "fight naked"

source

Any good tips you'd like to add? I always love to hear what makes a good marriage thrive!

blurbs and books of love

There is company I love called blurb and I feel the need to tell you about it. My friend Lauren first introduced me to it a few years ago and now I'm hooked.

I've used both snapfish and shutterfly before to make a custom photo album (we had one made for our wedding guest book) and they can't compare to the quality you get with blurb books... for the same prices!!  (we made photo books for our parents with wedding pictures and they look better than some professional albums we've seen)

Its a small company and they don't just do photo albums - they do novels, cookbooks, children's books, even mini instagram flip books! Its like a tiny independent printing press.

And the best part is that you can create something and then make it public for others to purchase.... so if you have a stack of family photos and recipes you want to scan and preserve you can do it - then the whole clan can log on to buy it for christmas! (am I the only one blown away by this? its awesome right?) You can also search the site for other people's items, often they have ones sold for charity, and buy them as well.

Its really easy to use - I know because I've written several books with blurb (not necessarily good books but they are books none the less, my friends)

When Neil and I had been dating a year we set the gift limit to $1. Around that time I was encouraged by the concussion professionals to journal or write and keep jogging my memory (also a reason for this blog, by the way). In attempt to both work on my brain and seduce my man, I wrote a book about our year together. I wasn't doing well with chronological order so instead I put it in alphabetical categories. It was an encyclopedia of sorts. My Abilities, our Beliefs, his Characteristics, etc, etc, all the way to Vacations. In a used book store, I found an old, worn book for $1 and pasted the typed pages inside.

When we were dating for two years I felt the desire to continue. Both because I still had a huge crush on him and because we were engaged to be married. So I took that computer file from year one and the new book from year two and converted them into Blurb... easy peasy!

I was so happy with the quality, in year three I continued the pattern and the books got longer - that one being 152 pages. (note: I'm not scrapbooker and I don't make photo albums so I slip in a number of pictures here and there for posterity - which pads the stats, page wise)

The best part about Blurb - a paperback, Orbin original, will only set you back $6.95!!! Granted, my books are only for sale to one guy but the point is still the same, you've got a good deal here.

Moving on from my glowing endorsement for just a second, I have to share that our 2 year wedding anniversary is coming up in about a month and the deadline of Aug 22nd is looming ahead because now it comes with the pressure of completing a novel. I'm happy to do it because I still have that huge crush, but I'm a mere 14 pages into our 4th edition! 

Question: is it cheating to copy and paste parts of an irreverent blog into a book of gushing love and adoration? 

Happy Father's Day

More than a day late on this, which is okay because all my father people are an understanding bunch.

I say "father people" because I'm oh so blessed with a Dad, a step-dad, a father-in-law, a step-father-in-law, and a Joe T (if you know him you know thats all the title he needs).

They have so many Dad-like interests and skills: football, hockey, baseball, gardening, sports car racing (even in iceland!), golfing, building decks, home repair, and of course, grilling.

I feel beyond blessed that their qualities and their interests have rubbed off on me. (I'm just at a loss for what to get such an exceptional and eclectic group. A tie just won't cut it for this crew.)

Instead of just posting some belated father gifts, I'm going to put some links from the web about fathers that I found to be wonderful, funny, and inspiring... just like the Dads in my life.

Carrie, thanks for showing me this hilarious video, 

"The Dad Life"

Here is a great article on fatherhood by Martin Sheen - yes him - because its nice to know that fatherhood isn't always easy.

My favorite line "The most important thing is that regret is useless and faith is necessary and love is everything."

This video just melts my heart.

I adore the simple dating advice John Steinbeck gave his son in this letter.


And while all my fathers like a variety of music (Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan, Louie Prima, and even Kelly Rowland), its the song my Dad used to sing to my mom, then he used to rock me to sleep with, that makes the cut for today:

so Happy (belated) Father's Day! I love you all!!

source

Random Word Generator: A Love Story

Sometimes Neil and I play a game of sorts with each other where one of us will say a word - any word - and the other one then tells the fist story that comes to mind related to that word.

It started one sunset on vacation when we pulled chairs up to the ocean's edge and just talked, inching them back as the tide came in. We wanted to hear stories we didn't know (something that seemed hard seeing as we've known each other since kindergarten). This silly little game magically drew them out...

"Door"
...'ha. Have I ever told you about the time in college your cousin and I kicked a door in?"

"Bread"
..."that makes me think of my Gram. Have I ever really described her kitchen to you? I loved it so much!"

and on we'd go - car rides, long walks - "Elephant", "Lemonade"

There's so much to learn about a person.

This next part might seem like a non-sequitur but I promise I'll come around in my thought...

I joined twitter a few months ago and I've been underwhelmed. Maybe its because I only followed a few things and those cooking/running/sports things seem to just tell the same stories. Maybe I just haven't tapped into twitter's potential.

So today I tried something new. I said a random word to twitter and it generated a story back to me...
part of it funny, part thoughtful, part informative.

"Cardboard"
...@SquidwardTweets "I just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. pillow fight?"
...@MarieClaireId "'Women should look like women. A piece of cardboard has no sexuality' - Alexander McQueen -"
...@OMGfacts "Monty Python and the Holy Grail's budget was so small, some castles were made out of cardboard!"

"Bagel"
...@bulls_horns "People that shop at Whole Foods think they're all that and a bag of bagel chips."
...@dbonesallday "I want to go back to the simple days, the bagel bite days..."
...@benny_clegg "Scary fact: eating a bagel is the same as eating 6 slices of bread"

I feel like I just hit the refresh button on my relationship with Twitter.

HAPPY WEEKEND! hope you get to hug a mother

etsy card

This is a holiday where I couldn't be more blessed. I have my mother who showers so much love on everyone. She bought a little outdoor pizza oven for the weekend - to host a dinner. And she stopped by beforehand to pick up some of my laundry! sheeesh. How does one ever give back to their mother adequately? Will a mom ever stop feeding her children long enough for them to answer that question?

I have a mother in law that is so thoughtful and kind. I would be so blessed if I could spend forever sipping tea and chatting with her. This is a woman that can talk with equal parts enthusiasm about Impressionism Paintings and Pirates Baseball. 

I have a step-mother in law that has a knack for making me comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. Shortly after I met her, she had me cozy up on her couch with an afghan and a coffee while she boldly stated I need to marry Neil. (how wonderful is that!)

I have a number of aunts that I grew up so close to - they'd discipline me right alongside my cousins... they also love me just the same as the ones they gave birth to. They are the women that gifted me the most important books I've read "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," inscribed Congratulations on your Confirmation, 11-22-97. They introduced me to classic comedies such as "The Jerk" and "Blazing Saddles." They are the ones that passed on my gram's cooking, and they also put on "Earth Wind and Fire" at full volume while we clean-up Thanksgiving dinner. (all very formative)

And I have a lot of 'aunties' that are not blood related but wouldn't hear of it if you said that out loud. Some have kids of their own and some don't. All have adopted me fully - even to the point of attending horrible band concerts and long dance recitals. 

What have I returned to them?  I'm still not quite sure. Maybe that's the root of Motherhood, its selflessness. But I know that I'm eternally grateful for all of my Mothers.

Everyone reading this probably approaches Mother's Day from a different place. Some might be holding onto your Mom in memory (sadly that is where almost all of mine and Neil's Grandmothers reside), others might be longing to become a mother yourself. I hope if its a difficult day for you, you can find comfort in the beauty of the strong women that surround you. 

I know I've become who I am because of a gaggle of crazy, wonderful, gorgeous "Moms" 

Its our tradition to get each of our Mother's a bouquet of flowers on this day. But because I don't have to click 'check out' on that online shopping cart, I'll show you some things I would buy them if I were in the habit of getting them all they deserved and more. Hopefully you'll find some inspiration for that special lady in your life too...

this mug from someecards

pre-ordered cookbook on Amazon

its not out till fall but it is sure to be the best - so even a promise of this gift to come is great

Tom's ballet flats

because its sensible but still stylish (and for a good cause)

jersey knit scarf

comes in many colors and can double as a beach wrap

 simple rose gold band

dainty and affordable

essie's spring 2012 collection

has some fun yet classy options. I love the peach one - "a crewed interest"

face lotion with SPF

my friend's grandma used to give her this sage advice:

"don't sleep with men you don't know and moisturize your neck"

the (expensive but) perfect travel bag

i suggest watching the video on the website - it really is the ideal weekender

this Hatch Collection trench is divine

(just omit the fact that it comes from a maternity website)

and what Mother's Day Gift Guide would be complete without a candle...

this scent is warm cinnamon bun

as if to say, "I remember all those sleepovers where we kept you awake, then you got up in the morning and made us breakfast anyway."

Thank you Mom(s)! I love you (all)!!