Monday, July 23, 2012

Marriage Advice

This weekend I'm fortunate enough to officiate a wedding for a truly wonderful couple.

While I put the final touches on sermons and vows, I'm thinking about great marriage advice.

This article by Lydia Netzer is so sweet and honest. I love all her tips, especially, "make a husband pact with your friends" - I think the way you talk to your spouse and about your spouse is so very important.

I also think there is something so wonderful about realistic love... not the grand sweeping things we see in romantic movies. So I'm posting my favorite clip from my favorite romantic movie. (Actually its my second favorite clip. I couldn't find the "She's heard me say I love you a million times but she's never heard me say I'm sorry" scene from Die Hard, so this will have to do)

And I love the song "Born" by Over the Rhine (a husband and wife duo). When Karen and Linford were going through a rough patch in their marriage they decided to buy a case of wine and sit down with a bottle every night until it was gone. They would use that time to talk and to listen - to let things unfold.

I'm not sure that 'drink a case of wine' is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of standard marriage advice but I love that story because the two of them stayed together and this gorgeous song came out of it...

Other fun marriage advice I've heard includes "laugh a lot" and "fight naked"

Any good tips you'd like to add? I always love to hear what makes a good marriage thrive!


  1. I love that Julia Child quote. The Lydia Netzer article is awesome -- all the points are so good, but I especially liked the one at the end about being a team of two. I don't know if this is a good tip, per se, but I tell Kyle "I love you" probably 10 times each day -- when we're getting ready in the morning, at the end of almost every phone call, when we're cooking dinner. If nothing else, it can't hurt ;) Marriage is such a fun, interesting ride!

    1. I think that advice is wonderful!

  2. High Fidelity was the first date my husband and I went on! Wow that was a long time ago :)

    1. how sweet!! I love that movie so much!!

  3. I endorse my wife's strategy of marrying the perfect man.

    But seriously, I think telling the truth is a good one. The truth about good stuff (I love you), the stuff about bad stuff (I really screwed up here) and even the mundane stuff (I had a salad for lunch). That way you know that your spouse is a real person. You'll appreciate the good parts, but you won't build up this idealistic image in your mind and be devastated when they fail you. One thing our pastor who married us said during premarital counseling was, "You will absolutely break each other's hearts throughout this marriage." So I try not to, but when I do, I know she won't get caught off guard by it. And when she does, I know that the grace I give is only exceeded by the grace I receive.