Monday, February 11, 2013

unexpected joys

I could tell you a whole list of all the things in life that get better when you don't have constant pain. If I think about it, everything, absolutely everything has improved. However, lately I've found myself reveling in a few small unexpected joys....

I used to dread getting into the shower. Something about the heat and steam and standing in place with my eyes closed that would make me feel terrible. I'd often get so woozy I'd have to sit down mid-way and get my bearings. NOW I don't get that sick, dizzy feeling. I can hop in and out quickly, or I can go for long and leisurely. Plus, I can get ready with plenty of time since I don't need to lay down in a bathrobe afterwards. So fear not for how dirty I used to be, I'm squeaky clean these days.

I would always be able to somewhat prep myself for fun weekends, but I was never prepared for how I'd feel when I got home. I would crash and crash hard. I would need four days to recover from one great night. I would come home from a trip and not get out of bed for a looong time, leaving tasks undone for weeks. NOW I have experienced the surprise delight in coming home from a action filled weekend, and unpacking immediately. Being able to walk in the door and face even the simplest task is such a vast improvement over crying in a dark room that I find I love it.

I used to wake up so very many times each night. I used to dread bedtime because I knew all the day's distractors would be gone and I'd just lay awake with my pain. I knew I'd somehow made it through a day and now I'd have to start all over again. Add to it, the background music to every bad night was my darling husband's snoring. Often he'd be so loud he'd wake himself up... then fall asleep, snoring again in under 2 minutes. How? How does he sleep so fast and easily?!?! It would drive me crazy! That was then, NOW I have two log sawing guys (yes, its true, Dixon snores), yet these days I'm not heavyhearted at bedtime. I lay down knowing I'll find sleep and wake up in the morning rested. So I curl up and listen to two sets of overlapping snores, and for some reason I love it. It gives me a sense of feeling grounded and at peace. I have the assurance that they are right there. And then I quickly drift to sleep.

Thats just the tip of the iceberg when it comes new surprising joys. Of course its easy to find new adoration for date nights and sporting events. Its a whole other sense of amazement to enjoy doing the dishes, waking up early on the weekend, running (even when its less than 10 degrees), grocery shopping, making coffee at the start my day, and sitting in traffic - just to name a few.


  1. Your unepected joys over joy me!

  2. ok that was unexpected!

    Aunt Mary

  3. You have no idea how much joy your healing brings to others, especially me!
    Aunt Sue

  4. God Bless you for being able to embrace the snoring! 20+ years later and I still can't. ;0