Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Our weekend away was delightful - it was providential...

One of the things I loved more than all the beauty that Providence, RI had to offer was spending time with Neil. We got to just hang out. No making plans, no TV, no quickened mid-week conversations.

We welcomed the slow pace, the long unfolding evenings, the deep talks, the games and laughing.

Over an extended dinner at a local craft brewery (vegetarian gumbo! oh how my knees still buckle), we played one of our favorite games, while we sipped a delightful sampler....

The game, LOATHE DRAFT, involves taking turns drafting a car of celebrities. The car has to have two males and two females. They can be dead or alive, real or fictitious. They are to come together to make the most horrible, terrible, unbearable car ride you can imagine. (The celebrities themselves might not be so bad, but the set of four should make your stomach turn when put together.) Then you find a non-partial judge to chose which car is most awful and the worst one wins. (the bartender was our judge, but usually we phone a friend- chosen at random after drafting)

*note this is a modified version of the more positive game "LIFE DRAFT" invented by my family. In LIFE DRAFT the car is headed to a party and one must consider which car is the most desirable team to have at a party - yet it must also be considered, if the car never makes it to the party, who would be most enjoyable along the way. Again a non-partial judge is chosen after teams are drafted, not knowing who had what teams.

Car 1
Glenn Beck
Ray Lewis
Anna Nicole Smith
Miley Cirus

Car 2
Carrot Top
Condalisa Rice
Amy Winehouse
Lead Singer from Nickleback

I'd love to know your thoughts - which car do you think wins (that is, which one would be more wretched to ride in)? Who would you draft for your car? Do you have any little games you like to play?

I mention all this today because its a heavy day, a day when I'm paying dearly for all the fun I had on my weekend. Yet despite the pounding in my temples, I can take solace knowing I'll never have to go anywhere with those groupings of people. (I shudder to think of it. Seriously, what would they say to each other?!?)


  1. Car one wins, hands down.

    My car load:

    Adolf Hitler
    Sacha Baron Cohen
    Louis Farrakhan
    Rush Limbaugh


    1. hahaha! way to elevate the game! the whole time we've played we've kept it to such low brow options as Jessica Simpson and a Wayans brother as a white chick from the movie 'white chicks'.

      I never even thought of Hitler!! that opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Do you have any idea how annoying a car ride would be if you throw in the disciple Peter with in with any cast member from any MTV show then any member of the View then any recent ruler of any middle eastern country. YES for historical figures!! thank you Tim!!

    2. In a way, it sort of feels like an easy out, picking Hitler. But what really makes it unbearable in my head is that he's shouting at the top of his lungs... in German. And Farrakhan has no clue what he's saying, but he feels the need to shout back. Which, of course, has Rush going off on some diatribe about liberal rhetoric - as a sort of dull drone on the background. Lastly, you add in Sasha Baron Cohen (and the dictator, and Borat, and Ali G, and Bruno) because he can't help but do an impression of EVERYONE else in the car at some point - which makes them all yell louder.

      The only thing I'm sort of interested in seeing is if Rush actually takes sides with Hitler against Farrakhan. I say yes.

    3. I wonder which one Rush would call a slut- I would hate that car because of all the shouting but also because the very real risk of death.

      however Neil pointed out that it doesn't have two females, as per the rules (I think he said that because you chose my car - Car 1- for the win! sour grapes man)

  2. Car 2 wins. Car 1 would be awesome because Ray Rice would straight-ass choke out Glenn Beck and then turn to Miley Cyrus and say, "What up?"

    Car 1 wins just for having the Nickleback singer in it.

    My car... selected only because of their annoying voices:

    Chris Berman
    Rosie Perez
    Jennifer Tilly
    Gilbert Gottfried

    You'd bite a cyanide pill within two miles.

    So glad you had a great time! You guys deserve it, dammit.

    1. Of course, I meant Car 2 wins just for having the Nickleback singer.

    2. Oh, and the best sign you missed at the Marathon:

      “We spent millions making the North Shore connector – why are you running?”

      Seriously, I'm really done now.

    3. haha, first of all - I love that sign because even though we watched some marathon running in Providence, we truly missed out on the Pittsburgh love! (we stood at the mile 26 marker and there were hardly any signs)

      second of all - I love that you went with a theme in your car. I can just see the vehicle pulling over to pick up a hitch hiking Jaleel White (as Urkel) and Fran Drescher and immediately having to pull the ol' tuck and roll.