Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Very Merry Month of MAY

April Showers bring...

So cheesy, but oh man, its like I can't get enough Puritan jokes - especially this month because Neil and I are headed to Providence, Rhode Island!!! (founded by my favorite early American, Roger Williams! thats whats up)

Other things I'm looking forward to this month:

Biggest Loser Finale
Don't tell me who won! We recorded and we're watching next week.
A dedicated group of ladies are making it into the BL Workout
We have to do a burpee every time they say this season's theme "No Excuses"
We pause the TV to guess each contestant's final weight, then subtracting the difference of our guess from the actual we get the number of crunches or jumping jacks to be done
Someone cries - do a push up
...and so much more
(Please don't think us insensitive - We also watch because its an inspiring show and we are encouraged by the contestants - having actually cried while watching many seasons - 
and I love nothing than the moment at the end of each episode when they drop their pants)

With an attitude of: I can't even begin discuss what happened to the Bulls last night, I'm looking for distractions. The Knicks seem to be putting on the right kind of show.
I'm looking forward to watching this series now that Stoudemire is out.
Throughout the season, they've only played worse (statistically speaking) with him on the court.
The complaint was that Amare didn't play defense, so instead he went and got real offensive.
I think Carmelo will shine with out him. I'm not saying that they can take the series after a 2-0 defecit, but I am saying I think it could get interesting.
Punch a box o glass Folks, we could have a series!

80s Prom Night
I don't need more than those three words to explain why I'm so excited.
Except maybe these three words:
purple tights. aquanet.

Didn't Die Day
May 15th is becoming my favorite holiday of the non-death-aversary 
This could be because I'm getting more and more macabre as time passes.
I use this day to reflect on where I am, and how far I've come.
I use this day to celebrate.
On this blog, I'll probably rehash all of it so be ready. 

Mother's Day
We always join up to run the Race for the Cure in the morning.
Then he goes with his mom to a Pirate game while I go with my mom on less noble ventures...
to cook some pasta dish and onDemand a low quality rom com
One of us gets Andrew McCutchen, the other gets Josh Duhamel 
(both options pretty fantastic because our mom's are the best)

This vegetable is the first thing that says to me winter is so over!
Its what makes me so delighted in the idea of the coming weeks at farmer's markets.
I eat so much of it I get sick. (I will avoid talk of my pee) Then just as I feel I can take no more, it disappears from the crates for another year and I miss it again.
Here is a unique recipe- it kills at pot-lucks 
Don't be afraid of not cooking the stalks, I was too, its okay.

Habitat Walk
On May 19th Habitat for Humanity's Pittsburgh Chapter is having a walk not a run.
There is a 5K and one mile option.
It's all donation only and my friend Derek is coordinating the whole thing.
You can go online and donate without even showing up if that syrups your waffles,
or you can make your way to the stadiums for a gorgeous waterfont stroll and a really good cause!
(Neil and I will be at the registration tent congratulating you on a decision well made)
p.s. if you donate, you can join the "hot metal" team

Avett Brothers
I last saw them live in 2007, and this will be Neil's first time seeing them.
Its going to be outside on the lawn at Stage AE on May 20th
So we are stoked. yep we are!

Memorial Day
aka: that weekend with weddings and parades
By some large miracle, I have no plans!
Maybe I'll make it my goal to finish the very depressing book, 
I can commemorate our fallen soldiers with morose facts about the treatment of american minorities
with some outdoor grilling of course

Rhubarb Collins
Right alongside asparagus is the spring season's other funny looking plant: rhubarb. 
I love it paired with strawberry in jams and crisps, but have never put it in anything else.
Then I saw this recipe for a spring cocktail using rhubarb.
I can't tell if it looks bitter and horrible, or creative and amazing.
In the name of science - I might have to try!

To end in a Merry way: The Avett Brothers - 
singing a song called "Bella Donna" (my mother's name)

What lovely things do you have coming this May? any races? any hot dates? any great spring recipes?
(and I wasn't kidding about wanting puritan jokes)


  1. So I can't listen to this at work, but it looks promising re: Puritan humor.

    ALSO, you've cleared up a long-standing mystery re: asparagus. I will avoid talk of my pee too, except to say "Ohhhh, now I get it."

  2. Puritan humor is out there. I don't agree with it, of course, but in the name of diligence, we should be aware of this type of disrespectful jesting. Thus, I present the only Puritan joke I know, for educational purposes only:

    A Puritan family traveled a large city and came upon a wonder that was called a multi-storied mall. In there they found all sorts of strange inventions and sights. The Puritan family saw stairs that moved called escalators and neon lights and so many strange manners of dress that they were truly amazed.

    The wife and the women went into a fabric store to buy some coarse black fabric to make clothes with leaving the father and the son alone to explore the mall. They soon came upon a pair of shiny metal doors that opened by sliding apart. They noticed a very old and ugly woman walk up to the closed doors, press a button and the doors opened for her. She got in and the doors closed. Then lighted numbers above the door blinked downward and the doors opened. A young beautiful woman scantily clad walked out.

    The father elbowed his son and whispered, "Go get your mom and hurry!"