I'm writing to you because
recently for several years now, I have been lacking direction in my life. This letter is the beginning of what I believe to be directional inspiration. (Its also a potential opportunity to restore pride in the hearts of my family, friends, and a high school guidance counselor)
Steven Martin, I'm seeking you because
You stand up (in the comedic sense)
You write many things (nonfiction, fiction, and screenplays)
You play the banjo
You win grammy's for playing the banjo
You study and collect art
And - okay, I'll say it - We're all thinking it - You're one smooth silver fox
I'm sure soon we'll be seeing your Steve Martin line of inventions. (opti-grab not withstanding)
With us both in full agreement of your impressive resume, I hope you'll strongly consider my request to have you become my GURU (the position is currently available on my end). I'm good with constructive criticism and if you'll refer back to my strong intro - I have a lot of flexibility with very little direction.
If you'll let me apprentice under your wise ways, I promise to create very little extra work for you...
1. I'm essentially the same measurements are Martin Short circa 1986
2. My new business cards can be a simple re-appropriation of your old ones
Take your time with the answer because I really don't have much else going on.
(if I send off with "one wild and crazy gal" does it help or hurt my chances?)